The Shepherd?

Encouraging words from a post by Sally Clarkson:

You are just exactly the right person, the one who God picked to shepherd these children in ways that no one else could. So live in that freedom today and enjoy your own unique family culture. This is the day the Lord has made–rejoice in the moments and be glad.

Oh, how I need to hear these words in seasons of doubt.

Erik and I decided that that we wanted to be the primary influence in our children's lives and as a result I decided to quit my job and stay home. How blessed we were to have the ability to do this but many days I see my own failures and depravity and wonder if the children may be better off under someone else's care.

I all too often try to conform their behavior and personality to one that meshes with mine: calm, controlled, organized, etc. They will never fit that mold because they were created to be them and not me. I get frustrated all too easily with the chaos, messes, fussing, and whining. I realize that my selfishness is at play here. I want things to go how I want them to go and in a way that is pleasing to me. Me? Selfish after all these years of following the Lord? Afraid so! Oh how He is using these children to illuminate my depravity and need of Him.

Are you sure Lord? Am I really the right person to shepherd these children? Yes, but only by your strength and power.

⁹ And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. ¹⁰ Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-11

So I choose to praise You that I am unsuited for motherhood, weak, selfish, unlovely, impatient, overwhelmed, and so much more. Use me however you will to reach the hearts of my children as you are really the only one who has access. Come Lord and be strong on my behalf and receive the glory that is yours alone!

New Years Day

Wow! It doesn't feel at all like New Years. I guess it's because I'm too busy with life to even think about it. I have tons of New Years Resolutions that I'll try to write about this week just so I have them written down and can note my progress. It's time to make another attempt to read the bible through in a year. I have read the entire bible more than once but I'm not sure I've ever done it in exactly one year. Here's a link to the bible reading plan I am using this year:

http://www.bhpublishinggroup.com/readthebible/downloads/RBL-Chron-2-Page.pdf

We enjoyed a good morning at church and a BFG class that was busting at the seams. Erik thought class might be small because of New Year's Eve. I told him everyone would come to start the year off well. I was right and almost everyone was there!

I took Corrie and Chloe with me to Aldi this afternoon only to discover they are not open on New Years Day. I should have realized that. We made a trip to sonic happy hour instead to make the trip worth it.

We had dinner with Nana and Robbyn and Kevin. Aunt Linda came as well which thrilled Chloe and Caleb. She is an awesome playmate. Nana went all out and the meal was great. Robbyn and Kevin are staying through Tuesday so we'll see them again this week.

Tomorrow it's back to work, back to school for everyone. I am planning to talk to the preschool coordinator about my concerns about Caleb's class...too many 2 yr olds for 2 teachers. We have considered pulling him out of class and I pray my discussion with her will direct our decision one way or another.

Here I am, Take 2

So much for blogging twice per week. It's been more than two years since the first entry of this blog! I really want to do this if for no other reason than to have written memories of our children while they are little and doing many memorable things each day. Maybe I'll succeed this go around and actually keep up with this!

Today was a good day but busy as usual. I sat out to have a day where I just hung out with the children. I somewhat succeeded but still ended up doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms. I've tried to reduce caffeine this week and have learned that I am very tired. Apparently, the caffeine was keeping me going and without it, I feel like I need a nap at every moment. Corrie has been "off" for the past few days. I attribute this to the busyness of the holidays but she has been waking up at night more often and not napping well. Hopefully, this will improve as we get back to normal this week.

We spent this evening at Pa's house sharing a Christmas meal that included Robbyn, Kevin, and Colleen. The kids got gifts from Pa and Sue. The gift of the night was a toy trumpet that Caleb received. He hasn't mastered it yet but it was cute to see he and Chloe blowing the trumpet and talking about being in Daddy's marching band someday. Chloe received a Cinderella dress and holiday DVD's. The kids watching Frosty the Snowman all the way home!

I have started having snuggle time with Chloe and Caleb at bed time. All three of us get in Chloe's twin bed to snuggle, read, and pray together. My original intent was to settle Caleb down before bed (NOT WORKING!). The children look forward to this time and it insures some special moments with the older children which is often lacking during the day when Corrie needs so much attention. Tonight we read a Berenstain Bears story by flashlight. Caleb loves these stories. We have been pretending that I am mama bear and he is brother bear. Today when I called him "Caleb", he reminded me that he was "brother bear". He even called me "mama bear" when he needed something else at breakfast time. It's always fun to see what character he will assume each day. So far we have had everything from Veggietales to Disney characters.

It has been good having Erik home during his break. We have had a lot of good family time together and the children have loved being with Daddy.

Well, only a few more hours of 2011. I really haven't given much thought to the start of a new year. Maybe I should ponder that now...

Here I Am!

After the inspiration of friends and the encouragement of Erik, I have decided to enter the world of the technologically proficient and begin a blog. It seems that I have always been a few years behind most of my peers when it comes to technology...most of my middle school band students had more sophisticated gadgets than I did.

My general goal for this project is to keep family and friends up to date with what is going on in the lives of the Harris family. I'm sure there will be lots of stories about and pictures of the children. 

I also hope to find a place to catalog my walk with the Savior so there will probably be postings with thoughts about what I am learning as I come to know Him more.

We'll see how consistent I am at keeping up with this...not much free time lately...but I hope to write at least once per week.